aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccccccc

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA c AAAhead of Time

                                                                aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa CCBy

                                                       aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxCCJeff Brochu

 

Bigger. Much much bigger. And heavier. Much much heavier.

My neck was sore all of the time. And I was tired. Very very tired. All of the time. I didn’t know what was happening to me.

It wasn’t until my hats stopped fitting that I realized the circumference of my head had grown drastically. It had become too big for my neck and it was therefore hard to hold it up! How had this happened?

There is no doubt that over the last year I have gotten smarter. Very much smarter. Ever since I decided to get smarter, I’d gotten smarter. So I guess it makes sense that my brain would grow in order to hold and process all of my new knowledge, and that my head would need to grow to accommodate my big brain. I guess it does. But with computers at least, memory chips and processors have gotten smaller. Much much smaller. But muscles get bigger as they get stronger. Don’t livers bloat when they are diseased?

Truth be told no matter how smart I am I just don’t know what is causing my head to expand. But my head is bigger. Much much bigger.

And I’m not the only one to notice. Arnika noticed. Arnika notices everything. She has this essence about her. One of being in touch not only with herself but with the entire world. And therefore with me.

Arnika is my new neighbor. She just built a beautiful home on a plot of land just down the river from me. I can see into her backyard and into her house with my telescope. She doesn’t mind. I know this because I am getting smarter. You see, since I know that she is in tune with everything including me, than she must know what I am doing. And if she knows what I am doing and isn’t o.k. with it, she would stop it wouldn’t she? So since she knows, and does not stop it, she must be o.k. with me watching her with my telescope. It’s logic. And I am good at logic.

I am retired now and because of some sound investments will be able to live the rest of my life without having to work. That shows some smarts doesn’t it? Considering, it was only about a year and half ago when I was on the verge of being broke and homeless.

So I watch Arnika And I watch.

We met when she was out rollerblading. I had been watching a hawk soar above the mountain when I saw a blur. Winding down the side of the mountain was a majestic vision. I knew the distances well on that mountain. So I timed her. She was moving fast. Very fast. But I still had time.

I managed to walk by her driveway path just as she was getting home. I smiled and introduced myself. She said hello nicely. We talked a little and went our separate ways. She had given me the once over look so I knew that she had noticed how big my head was. After looking over my body, it wasn’t until she got back to my head that she smiled. Yeah I thought a smile was only natural under the circumstances. Unfortunately she hadn’t smiled at my body, but I knew it was all due to my head.

The sheer joy of meeting her, of being in her presence elevated me for weeks. I do not get out of my house much at all. There is no need: it is completely self-sustaining so no one other then my Nika has seen me since the change has occurred. My Nika? No. It is too soon for that. I have not earned it. Not yet.

 I do have some before and after pictures that I had sent out to a real cute head scientist I found on the web. She hasn’t gotten back to me yet. I had hoped maybe to volunteer my head to be studied by her, and since I was so smart now maybe I could have even guided her study. But after having met Arnika I know that not meeting the doctor was best, for I would like to be studied by Arnika. And I would like to be a student of Arnika.

But how do I make this happen? She is so busy all of the time. Even when she is relaxing and enjoying life I get the impression that she is busy relaxing and enjoying life.

One morning after a dream; was it a dream or was she actually in my head; she is able to temporarily relieve my constantly growing head pressure just by squeezing it with a loving vice-like grip, I decide to go to her and make my proposition. It is the right thing to do.

But Arnika is gone. Gone. I do not need my telescope. I do not need the microphones. She is gone. When will she be back? Will she be back? I look into her bedroom, into her bed. All of her doors are open, but she always leaves her doors wide open. Actually, I never noticed this before, but Arnika’s home has no doors.

All of the windows including the ones in the ceiling are open. I watched her install a barometer that triggers those windows. Watching Arnika the Builder climb a ladder is a sight that with her permission would make us both even richer then we are via the internet. And I don’t need my bigheaded smarts to know that!

What am I to do? Have I driven Arnika away? I have driven her away. I hope she has not sold her house yet. Could she even sell her house? Who would move a family next door to my head? Could parents bring children to my house or would they be afraid that I might tip over and crush one of them?

Who other then Arnika would move themselves next door to my big head?

I must move quickly. How will I find out where she has gone? How will I find out…? No. Wait. It is not my place. If Arnika must leave then she must leave. And I must be alone. Again.

But I will be ready if she returns. No. I will be ready when she returns. I know she will return. I am smart now. And I am aware. She and I we are connected. We expand each other.

I purchase a dozen telescopes with remote motion sensing alarms and have them flown in on same day service via helicopter. Missing any of her return would be insane. I am not insane. I have already missed her departure. I will not miss her return.

The ensuing week is one of the best of my life. That is not surprising as now that I have started to expand it seems every day is better then the previous. I am in my garden playing with the spiders when…

Rooaaaarrrr! Then a rumble. I know that sound. My pager rings. It is my northern, mountain-directed telescope signaling me that she is just over 50 miles away! How can I hear the roar? It does not matter, Arnika is coming home.

Even though I have become a bit top heavy the sprint to the telescope is the fastest 100 meter dash that I have ever run.

First I see the explosion of light as the sun reflects off the spokes. The bike is jet black. Close to the ground. Tight to Arnika. A pair of hot pink, low riding hip huggers clings to her. A yellow sweat-drenched sports bra barely holds her in. There are no biker boots just a pair of well worn green high top sneakers.

I watched her build that motorcycle in her workshop. The footage I shot is some of my favorite to watch. Especially the morning when she installed photo-voltaic cells where a normal motorcycle would have it’s fuel tank.

The velocity at which she is traveling would be frightening on our mountain were it not Arnika, were it not her bike. Her thighs are a strong, deep brown mass of mayhem as they straddle it. I watch her hands. I watch their grip. I watch the strong subtle way they move in conjunction with her left foot to manipulate and control the power of the bike. With each twist of her hand the bike surges forward almost to the brink and then she winds it back down only to explode through a corner and thrust into a straightaway. I tremble as I watch.

It’s not until I finally am able to take my eyes off of her body as it works in unison with the bike that I am able to see the look on her face. The concentration. The focus that I know is sending sheer pleasure reaming and cascading its way through her body and her soul. And through mine as well.

She is freedom and she sets me free.

I manage to arrive at her driveway path just as she does. She stops and dismounts. She gives me the once over look and smiles at my head again. She reaches up and runs her fingers through my hair. Then she re-mounts the bike. There is the hint of a purple thong. I just stand there all bigheaded. I hope my camera has gotten the footage.

On the following morning I was there by my window waiting for her to wake up. Sometimes she would go naked into her backyard to meditate. What an amazing site that is. As she would sit there, she would glow. Beautiful black and yellow butterflies would land on her and the air around her would shimmer. Often times I would just close my eyes and try to find a link to the meditating Arnika. I know that she knows that I am doing this and am hopeful that at some point that she will let me in.

Anyways this morning was different. She carried a tool box. A big heavy tool box. WoW she was strong. She wore a lime green shirt which accentuated her arms, her back, her body.

And she did not go to her meditation place but to her workshop. I had to take my telescope into a different room to see inside but it wasn’t problematic. I had been smart enough to put all of my telescopes on wheels. Arnika moved around a lot.

When I looked she was inside of it. Smack dab in the middle of it. Everything but her eyes is covered by a surgeons mask. She is focused. Concentrated. She is Arnika.

And I am smart enough to set my camera on automatic so that I can enjoy the show with out having to stop to get just the right shot.

And what a show it is. Arnika is building a cage! A cage for my head. I do not want to live with my head in a cage, yet if Arnika thinks that it is right for me to do so, then it must be right for me to do so. I am smart enough to know that.

What kind of life will it be? I am a bit nervous. Look how big she is making it! Is my head really going to get that big? Will my brain get so big as to make it necessary? Wait…Maybe that is it. Maybe Arnika is not building a cage for my head. Maybe she is building a neck brace. A huge neck brace for me to help me hold up my head. Oh how I love her. I must tell her so and thank her.

But not for a neck brace. Because it is not a neck brace. It is a cage. A big big cage for a big, big head. At least she smiled that first time she recognized my uniqueness. So I know she likes my head. When the time is right I shall be ready. I shall go to Arnika and give her my head. And I shall thank her for caring for and about me.

I hope I have time to prepare. I think that I do. The cage is way to big now for the size of my head so it looks like she is building it for a future date. I know that she has done this to give me time to prepare.

It was quite simple really to build a scaled down version of Arnika’s cage. I had to improvise a little as she was taking her time with it. But I do not want to wait. I want to be ready when she decides that I should come to her and live my head in that cage. I wonder what she will feed me. I wonder if we will meditate together and if the butterflies will land on me like they land on her. I wonder if she will ever let my head out of the cage. Will we be able to kiss with the cage on?

And sometime when I wonder, I scare myself. I know that Arnika makes all things better. Will my intellect rub off on her? Will I end up giving her a big head? I hope not. Arnika has a beautiful head. I would not want her to have to place it into a cage of her own making as she would indeed do if she thought that she posed a danger.

What am I to do?

The first thing I am to do is to listen. That is part of being smart. I haven’t always been smart. I haven’t always listened. But as I build my new cage there is a guiding hand at work. I not only have my finely detailed blueprints, I have help. I can visualize in full color the cage as a finished room. I can feel it as the new home for my head. I know how it is supposed be. And I know it is Arnika shaping me, guiding me, helping me. It is Arnika making my life better, helping me make the transition from a free and single man to a man who lives happily by her side with his head in a cage.

Or at least I think it is Arnika. But she does not feel like I expected her to feel. Living alone with her as my neighbor for the past eleven months, I have had lots of time to imagine how Arnika feels. No, now that I am smarter I realize that I have been feeling how she feels. Feeling her strength. Feeling her love for our world. And yes, being a man every now and then I would imagine how it would feel to be able run my fingers through her dreadlocks. And the Arnika in my mind?...every time I run my fingers through her dreadlocks she giggles. She giggles a pure giggle. And so do I.

I never used to giggle.

But this is an overall new feeling I live with now. More ethereal. And more chaotic. Despite my still increasing intelligence, and an amazing understanding to go along with it, I am confused. I do not understand. What a wonderful feeling it is to be confused.

Every morning now I awake with the next step. The next step in the cage building process fully formed. I can see the outcome in my mind from well above. I can see it from the inside. I can walk around it 360° without ever moving.

Every night now when I go to bed I close my eyes, and visualize my head’s temporary new home. Arnika places it gently inside of it, kisses me softly and shuts the door. I am not always comfortable with the kiss. I still do not know how big-headedness is transmitted and do not want to pass it on to her. Sometimes I turn my head away. I hope she understands.

Of course she understands, she is Arnika.

By the time my mini-model is complete I have lived inside of my virtual cage for two weeks. Two weeks that I barely realized had gone by. Two weeks when I had not watched Arnika. I miss Arnika. But during the building process I needed all of my energy, all of my intelligence focused. There were so many guiding voices inside of my head that it took all of me, everyday to understand.

As I exist there naked in front of it I catch a flutter outside on the window ledge. A butterfly watches me. Stares at me. It is smiling and it is pleased. But it is impatient. I look back over the last two weeks. I feel back. He has been there perched on the window ledge since I started this project. He is one of Arnika’s butterflies. I have never seen any of them anywhere except when she is meditating. They arrive just after she closes her eyes and they depart just before she opens them to return from the depths of her meditation. I doubt that she has ever seen them at all. Yet I know she can sense their presence, their beauty, their love. This butterfly is distinctive. His wings are bigger then normal; they are beautiful fusion of purple and pink speckles.

I return its’ stare. He is more then just one of Arnika’s butterflies. He has been in my big head guiding me in the cage building process. It has been through his eyes that I have been able to see all the different views that I have seen. How did I confuse Arnika with a butterfly? What is wrong me? Am I losing my mind as it grows? Is that what happens? Is that why she has chosen to cage me in?

No! No I am sane. My brain and head are not only bigger they are better. I am better. I must not be ready to understand yet. I must not be worthy. But my head will continue to grow. I know this. And eventually an explanation will come to me when she is ready to let me understand.

When I open the window the butterfly flies in and grabs hold of my hand, jolting me. He has been in her dreads.

My cage is much much smaller then the one Arnika has built for me. I set Anton down, lift the cage up, and place my head inside. It fits perfectly. My pain eases instantly. My pain in my neck, in my back and in my shoulders. I imagine the pain a heavy breasted woman might feel. Could we find a way to surgically reduce my head? I am smart. Would it reduce my brain?

I look for Anton. He has flown on ahead so I close the cage’s front door. I tie a big pink ribbon and bow around my head-cage and alone, I leave the only house I have lived alone in, the only home I have ever had. All of my doors and all of my windows I leave open.

It is just before dawn, yet the mountain shimmers in a fluttering universe of yellow and black, with the rhythmic pounding of a million sets of wings. It sweeps through all points in my vision encompassing a world Arnika and I now share.

Before I had left my home I had snuck one last peek through my telescope. She was already naked, shimmering, and meditating. Anton was already in her locks.

For the first time I make the turn down her driveway path. Many butterflies follow. My pulse is racing when we are finally face to face. I undress. We are naked together. Arnika never opens her eyes but she gives my body the once over again, and once again she smiles at my head. I smile back. I might be mistaken but I think some of the butterflies are also smiling at my head. No. I am smart. I know they are. I have a big head. A nice big head.

Millions of butterflies now ring her home. They thunder from the roof, from the tree house, from the pine trees. They sit and watch from the Lilly Pads. A couple of them join Anton on Arnika. And then a couple of more join. And then I can no longer see her under the love of yellow and black, and the unique twinkle of Anton’s flourish.

I had been so all consumed with building my cage that I had not seen Arnika’s completed. It is huge. I am slightly scared. The cage is on wheels. The same wheels my telescopes are on. Is she going to parade me around with my head in a cage? Am I to be her pet? What does she plan to do with my head?

Stop. Arnika will not harm me. Yet I wonder how anyone who loves freedom so much could encage anything. But my question is not relevant. Arnika knows.

With a few tears I remove the head-cage I had built. I had hoped that she would unwrap it and then unwrap me. I sit underneath her cage and use the pulleys to lower it down over my head. It fits perfectly and she has left lots of room for growth. How big is my head going to get? I use the pulleys again and stand up. The pain decreases even more. I am feeling stronger, healthier! I feel like my head is in a shrine built just for it.

Anton flies forward and I open the front door to let him in. Hundreds of his friends, maybe thousands of his friends rush forth and follow him. They fill the cage to the point of almost crushing me. Many, many, of them can not get in.

Through watching my Nika I have learned a little about meditation. For the first time it is easy to reach a point where I can feel her and she lets me in. But I can not stay their long. I open my eyes, rising well before Arnika does. Even with as big and impressive a mind as mine, it still wanders during meditation and I can not hold the depth for as long Her Highness. But for now this is o.k. with me. It allows me to watch her. Watch her as she sits there immaculately naked, covered with her beautiful black and yellow butterflies, an effervescent shimmer enveloping her. I wonder if they will fly away again before she opens her eyes. I hope that they do not. I want her to see them for the first time. To see us together, to…

To see us together! I smile. Anton smiles. And laughs at me a little. It’s o.k. I deserve it. Once the door of my cage is closed it will close in the butterflies as well. We will be locked in together awaiting Arnika. I can sense that this is what they want. That they to want to be encaged by and for Arnika just like I do.

So I close the door.

The butterflies that are one with Arnika’s naked body fly away.

Arnika opens her eyes and they fill as if lungs; taking us her companions in as a breath of invigorating air.

I can feel her excitement as she approaches me. As she approaches us. Does she walk or does she hover and glide above the very ground? I can not tell as the cage obstructs my view. But soon she is standing naked before us, her magnificent breasts rising and falling with each heightened breath. Oh to be a butterfly on one of her breasts.

She opens the cage door kisses me and steps back. None of us move. I give her a loving, tender smile.

I reach up and run my fingers, my hands through Arnika’s dreadlocks. We giggle.

She kisses my fingers.

And she closes the door to my head cage and locks the padlock shut.